what follows could never find an appropriate home in any of those other environments. no, what follows requires space for explanation and context and it requires skill and fortitude from the reader un-requested by those other mediums. so, the form is dictated by both the audience and the content. and so, without further ado, we begin this absolutely necessary thing.
we were in chicago on the church music tour. upon waking, and while gathering breakfast items in the front lounge of the bus, i read on the day sheet that it was a long walk to the stage and that i should take everything i needed from the bus with me, you know, because of the long walk and all, or at least, that was my assumption. well, first, before i get into that, i should state that the church music tour has been amazing thus far, this is the truth. and there is much i’d like to write about the uniqueness of life on the road, as it is a most unusual existence. (for instance, everyday begins with instructions [day sheet] on the cabinet door in the front lounge of the bus, the door that has behind it the tostitos chips and the large stock of nacho cheese jars and gringo killer salsa that have not yet been moved to the fridge. these instructions/information/day-sheets state important things like what city we are in, what time zone we are in, the times that are important throughout the day - like sound check and lunch and dinner and show start time - and information about what type of showers are available at the venue, since the type available will dictate whether or not you wish to make a run to the hotel or not - for instance, there are not very many of us that still enjoy gathering around a locker room pole for a shower. jr high athletics was hard enough.) another unique bit of road life is the means by which we find our way from the bus to the various locations inside the venue that are essential, like our “dressing” room, or catering, or the stage. there are pieces of tape for this. yes, when we exit the bus we find on the ground an arrow constructed of colored gaff tape pointing to the venue door. sometimes it is green. sometimes it is orange. sometimes it is pink. sometimes it is yellow. regardless of color, its consistent existence can be counted on and this consistency is a welcomed comfort, sort of like a home cooked meal, except more colorful. and so our day officially begins by following little tape arrows on the ground, whisking us off on a journey into the unknown waiting day. the feeling is childlike and epic, this following of the tape toward the great waiting unknown. however, chicago’s tape walk was epic and childlike in a way not previously experienced.
when i exited the bus, i found the arrow of tape waiting on the ground and followed it to a door marked by an “x”. i then spotted the next arrow pointing up a concrete ramp. at the top of the ramp was another arrow pointing toward an opened door. typically, the stage, catering, “dressing” room would be located just beyond such a door and so when i entered the door and found another arrow bending around a corner and pointing down the longest hallway i had ever seen in my life a sense of adventure and wonder was awakened. i videoed this adventurous walk. it is posted below:
i have one item in my possession that is necessary for my endeavors on stage to occur. i call it my rock-strap. it is a homemade item fashioned from four of my wife’s pony tail hair-band thingys. i’m not sure what they’re officially called, i call them, “hair-bands”, since they’re like rubber-bands except for hair. there are four of these things tied together that i attach to my glasses via boyscout type knowledge (seriously, you’d be amazed at the complex simplicity of the rock-strap’s engineering) to prevent what i call, slippage. you see, when i start playing the music i start leaking all over. i perspire. and when this happens my glasses slide down my nose. the rock-strap prevents this. if they did not, i would be unable to function without distraction. and so you see, when i was getting ready to go on stage, as in, the set-change had already happened and the rowdiest crowd thus far on tour had begun a spontaneous chant indicating our presence on stage was getting close to necessary, i found that i had left my rock strap in the bus, and well, this was a problem. so i videoed my trip to get it. it is ridiculous. my breathing toward the end is the best. i become what is known as, “winded.” here it is below: