now, i have always assumed that the unicorn was a [nonexistent] peaceful creature, a gentle, pacifist at heart, not inclined toward infliction of harm in return for an injury to another. not so! yes, there is much about the unicorn [nonexistent] that i did not know.
for instance:
did you know there is a unicorn code? neither did i!
the unicorn code:
1) unicorns never lie.
2) unicorns always lend a helping hand.
3) unicorns are loyal.
4) unicorns can keep a secret.
5) unicorns don’t use drugs
who knew? not me!
oh, also…
magical horns: not all unicorn horns are the same! each one has unique magical powers.
1) pearlescent: mind control, weather control, super hearing
2) spiral: illusion casting, super healing (i.e. turns blood into rose petals)
3) glow: hypnosis, enhanced agility
4) chrome: electromagnetism, speed reading, teleportation
that’s amazing!
then there’s this: unicorns [nonexistent] are magical creatures that exist only for those who believe. when they are not frolicking in dewy meadows or posing on windy cliffs they are helping believers do away with daily annoyances.
for instance:
does the new age lady at the bookstore get on your nerves when she starts ranting about her latest encounter with an ancient warrior spirit?
are you tired of being accosted by the creepy mime who thinks he deserves a quarter for pretending to be trapped in a box?
does the arrogant businessman in the well-pressed suit drive you crazy with the loud talking on his cell phone in a crowded elevator?
close your eyes, take a deep breath and summon a unicorn [nonexistent]. if you believe in the magic of unicorns with all your heart and soul they will answer your call.
so it seems the only question is, do you believe?