this notion of a psychological-testing-facility came to me while catching sight of a man tapping away frantically at a mysterious, portable, rolling, computer cart that had various science-type periphery hanging from it while observing me as i calmly pointed out to my wife that i could touch weed killer with one hand while reaching across the aisle and, with the other hand, simultaneously touch baby diapers. and so we, as a band, have made humorous statements about this, and other equally mystifying product placements, and have made statements, with no real intent of following through on, about mapping the store to cartographically document the many bizarre commercial pairings.
well, today i had the great joy of locating a particularly unsettling pairing. and i took pictures. the pictures are significant because i’ve been banned from this, the taking of pictures, in this store. it is true! i have been shut down twice for taking photos, which, as one would imagine, serves to grow my suspicion rather than suppress it. but yes, this time i was successful, and so i texted the band the following: ‘in my right hand i can grab a spray bottle of something called, ‘urine eliminator’ while simultaneously grabbing a fully cooked chicken that sits beneath an infrared heat lamp. magical i say!”
here is the thing that is called, “urine eliminator.”:
hogan: did you need a leather couch too? next aisle.
bwack: can you grab the nickleback cd? it’s next to the vacuum bags, to the left of the chicken.
mike d: amazing!
jack: if you’re looking for the hamburger buns, they’re next to the hamburger patties.
mark: yes! don’t get arrested.