on our first photo shoot the photographer literally said, “give me kitty cat, give me kitty cat,” while making a clawing motion out to the side of her camera. this didn’t make us feel comfortable while sitting in a semi circle. it was confusing. does “kitty cat” mean “cute or playful face”, or should we bat at the air like the photographer, as in – this a frolicsome action sequence! – or are we just supposed to smile because that is a stupid thing to say, “give me kitty cat,” and this is the intent, to make us smile by saying such a stupid thing. i smiled. i was immediately told not to smile. evidently, kitty cats don’t smile, they look very serious. the next photo shoot was with one of my favorite photographers, dan winters. he’s amazing. his stuff is in magazines a lot, and when i see one of his photos i think, wow, that is a really nice photo, and then i sort of panic and start to sweat because it reminds me of the photo shoot. he told me not to smile. he would take like 100 shots of me looking very serious and i would think, maybe i should smile now, you know to just have the option of me projecting a pleasant feeling, and i would smile and he would say, “don’t smile.” he was also pretty obsessed with my beard. he shot from the profile quite a bit. it made me anxious. he would say, “stare out the window,” and i would stare out the window and think, “people will see me in this photograph and speculate, ‘hm, i wonder what he’s staring at.’” and i would smile because this was funny to me, because there wasn’t anything out the window, and mr. winters would then say, “don’t smile!”
last tuesday we had our photo shoot. and, believe it or not, we had a good time. the last three photo shoots we have done with kaysie dorsey — wife of one gary dorsey, who, incidentally, has done the art work for our last three albums. both of the dorsey’s are from my hometown of texarkana. they are wizards, the both of them. and speaking of suits.
also, we did some stuff in front of a green screen. mark took one of bwack when no one was looking.
so, i beseech thee, make something i can present to bwack that will bend his mind.
oh, and i should also mention that the cover for the new album is ridiculous! there is no possible way you will be able to look at it and not smile. i would say, “don’t smile,” and you would still smile, regardless of my admonition not to.
––––– happy submissions following the previous request ––––––