Since we are now in the final push of the year we thought it necessary to come out with a witty and clever news article to let all of you know what’s going on. The only problem being, since we are all in moderately good health, that there was nothing to write about. Tour can be boring sometimes, and even if something weird or interesting happens, our brains are so numb from traveling that it becomes hard to remember to report back to you, the fans. That is, until B-wack crashed his bunk in the middle of the night.
That’s right. In the grand tradition of nearly catastrophic accidents in our band (the most notable being Solley on fire), our drummer managed to make headlines without even trying. Someone could have been killed!
To be fair, the author (me…) was asleep at the time of said incident, so all of the following will be secondhand information. I did manage to wake up briefly (I had fallen asleep fully clothed, with the TV. on, and the curtain to my bunk wide open) after the fact, mutter some incoherent mumblings at whoever was standing in the hallway, and have my curtain closed on me. I was promptly sawing logs shortly thereafter. That said, lets just assume that everything from here on out will be the God’s honest truth. At the very least it makes for a good story.
So there he was, right. Laying in his bunk, the one towards the back of the bus on the passenger side, sandwiched between the bunk on the floor that belonged to John the monitor guy and the top bunk that housed various junk (back packs, dirty clothes, and a nest of cables and blinking lights that was allegedly a portable recording studio). It was late, but being up late was never a problem for B-wack. In fact he was known to be almost entirely nocturnal while living on the bus. If he were seen roaming the front lounge any time before 1:00 pm, he would be met with worried and confused expressions from his bandmates, for surely something must be amiss.
It was late, too late for a crewmember to be up, and John knew that he needed to be in bed. Just as he was making his way to the back hallway, his phone began to ring. He was just settling back into the couch to take the call when all of a sudden, bam!
A loud crash was heard from the back of the bus. Those who were still up and those who had been woken up turned their heads to see B-wack’s feet exactly where they should be, but his head and upper torso in the very spot that John’s head would have been had his phone not rang minutes earlier.
Apparently the supports had given out on the underside of B-wack’s bunk, causing it to crash down on one side into the bunk below. Though stunned, B-wack was unhurt. John was grateful for the late night call, otherwise he would be dealing a broken head, if not death! That’s right… I said DEATH! He said later, “I hadn’t ever seen anything like that happen.” This is important coming from someone who tours with Skynyrd.
A drill was brought out, and the bunk fixed. B-wack made himself comfortable again, readying himself for whatever it is he does during the night while the rest of us sleep. John, having averted disaster, eventually fell asleep himself, though he was uneasy for several nights afterwards.
And me? Well, like I said, I was unconscious for the whole ordeal. Which still makes for a good story.